3:25

Mom died today at 3:25. I am absolutely heartsick over it. The last few days have been an awful blur. She had a stroke Sunday night, and 5 days later she's gone.

At the moment she died, a couple of strange things happened. For one, the music I'd had playing quietly in the room stopped. It had been playing continuously all day...and it simply stopped. The second thing is that about a minute after she died, a family friend walked in...he's a minister of a church, and he said he'd been sitting down writing the sermon for this weekend, and suddenly felt like he needed to come see mom. He visited 2 days ago...at the hospital...and hadn't made any specific plans to come back. But something made him stop in the middle of writing this sermon to come down immediately. And that was just as mom had passed.

We've had some visitors at the hospice over the last 2 days...and in the process we've laughed while remembering some of the great things about my mom. Today, her former boss came to see her. Mom was a legal secretary for Roger for many years (maybe 13??) and anyone that knows her will know how organized and methodical she was. And I suppose that these are very good qualities to have if you are a secretary...especially a legal secretary! Roger was telling us about how whenever he'd write letters or papers of any kind, he'd then hand it to my mom (Janet) to be "janetized". So funny to hear that made up word, it's just so perfect.

And we talked about how enthusiastic she was about so many things. I will always say that she was my biggest fan. She was always so supportive and loving. She'd be there for me for any reason, was always so generous with her time. If you ever ate anything she made and said you liked it, you'd probably be handed half of it to take home with you AND the recipe printed out and in a nice plastic protector. She always said that she "just wanted me to be happy"...which means a lot, especially when some of my life choices haven't been quite the norm.

I am a coordinator for the stART on the Street festival, and just a month ago, she helped us out by bringing her garden cart and using it to haul trash up and down the street, collecting it all. She was happy as a clam doing it! Couldn't wait to help out at next year's festival. When the T&G published a photo that happened to include her in the background (hauling trash) she was so excited she sent the link to everyone. So funny. :)

I am mentally and physically exhausted from the events of the last 4 days. When I found out about mom via email, it was already a half day later, and I was in India. It was already late at night there, and I was helpless to do anything. The next morning, I got an email from my uncle saying that my DAD was also in the hospital...heart problems. I think I am going to stay quiet for awhile. I'm going to stay in Princeton for awhile, with dad. We're gonna keep each other company...